FLAMINGO FEATHERS AND COCONUT DREAMS

Amar es Servir = to love is to serve

2009-12-28T19:23:00.000-08:00

A fond memory from the mission. I had kind of a wild day today. It was a day that caused me to do what I do everyday- reflect on my mission, but much more deeply than usual. I got an email telling me that a girl in our ward passed away. I still don't know details, I am thinking it might be suicide, and my heart aches because I knew her. I worked alongside her, and we weren't friends and all I can think about is what a bitch I am. She was kind of an odd girl. She was unkept and a little bit masculine. She spoke with a lisp and was not very friendly. But she was a daughter of God and had a tender heart. She deserved to be noticed and accepted and loved just like we all do. I feel I did none of those things. I had conversations with her and we handled a ward prayer together but that was it. I don't remember complimenting her or going out of my way to make her day brighter, and for that, I feel guilty and an urgent need to reevaluate my life and my daily motivations. I think we all know that service and helping others brings us the happiness and the satisfaction we all live for, so why are we so selfish? Why would I rather go to the gym or sleep in than dish out food at a soup kitchen or visit my elderly friends at the old folks home? It has been studied and examined by doctors and psychologists that service makes people happy and being selfless is what gives our lives purpose. All these things are no brainers and reflect the Savior's teachings and gospel, yet I still am slow motion to "get it." yeah I volunteer at the hospital several hours a week but I do that spoof up my resume to help me get into PA school someday. So anyways, amar es servir. I am going to be of service at least once everyday until I die, thats my goal. I have gotten lost in the mix lately and this will give me and my life more substance. So as I reflect upon the mission, and retrieve that huge life changing experience to give me a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment, its time I allow that experience to be reborn and continue. I have been mourning its death for a long time now, when I could be celebrating its birth and ability to equip me with many more beautiful experiences to come. RIP Ashley and welcome back mission days:)

Frustrated but Good

2009-12-10T15:25:00.000-08:00

I am struggling these days. Like this pic of hostel sue, I have tons going through my head that I feel like I need to self medicate to stay calm and relaxed. I wont get into what is going on. Lets just say I am frustrated. Things are good, I just have this goal that I have had for years and years that I just cant seem to pin down. It seems to dance around me and sometimes even spit on me as I climb and push on tryin to achieve it. I can't wait until I reach the top of this climb, grab it, and sit down with this "thing" look it in the eyes and spit back. It has nothing to do with men, there are plenty of them. It has nothing to do with school, that seems to come easier with time. It has nothing to do with Church or my spiritual aspirations, although it would be wise to seek to strive for bigger and greater in that department as well. Anyways, its all good. I just need help.

Colombia and Thanksgiving treats

2009-11-29T09:17:00.000-08:00

So the past couple of weeks have been amazing to say the least. Daniel Powell and I went down to Colombia. It was quite the trek getting there but we eventually touched down in Bogota Colombia and the adventures began. We stayed in some pretty cute/ghetto hostels in La Candelaria area and met some amazing people who are traveling the world. I truly envy the adventurous spirit found amongst such souls. Some have quit jobs, sold homes and personal items, broke up with loved ones and set sail to see the world. They are my heroes. They are who I hope to someday be. But until that day comes, I will only be able to do it one trip at a time I guess which works because I am pushin 30 and have yet to be a real responsible adult.

Walking the streets of Bogota made my heart pound not only from fear:) but because I realized I finally got out of the U.S. again and it gets my adrenaline going like nothing else can. I have a passion for seeing new places and meeting new people and when all I hear is my beloved language of espanol- I can't help but smile and breath in the nostalgia of my mission, living in Chile and my travels around south america and mexico from a couple years back up until now. My fondest memories come from those days living out of a backpack and keeping on the move while seeing some of God's most beautiful creations and meeting some of the most fascinating people.

Speaking of fascinating people, it was so nice to have Daniel as my traveling buddy. He totally hooked this trip up and I enjoyed getting to know him much more and on a level that I have never had the opportunity to do so. Traveling with someone truly allows for that opportunity. He is amazing and I find inspiration in his strength and tender heart. He is not only physically gorgeous but he is a beautiful man on the inside and I adore him. We had a great time. We saw Bogota inside and out and were able to hit up the night life and enjoy the lovin of some locals and fellow traveling souls:) good times were had by all.

But all good times and things must come to an end. Before we knew it we were getting our bags searched 5 times (literally we counted) in the Bogota airport then hopped a flight back to Orlando then we had our last slumber party sprawled out on couches in the Seattle airport sleeping and waiting to hop a flight back to our homes. It was nuts how quick that trip went, but I was excited to get home for Thanksgiving and to get my CNA test over with and to meet Mr. D Mac for the first time.

THANKSGIVING turned out to be nice. D Mac touched down in the SLC on Wednesday, we kicked it for a bit that night and finally got to meet in the flesh. I was super impressed. It was kinda surreal to finally meet up but he was a total cutie pie which was a catalyst to me being nervous cuz I truly felt he was too good to be true. Talking on the phone made me adore him but to then see him and actually hang out I really came to enjoy him and saw I had the "whole package" right before my eyes. Two thumbs up for sure. So anyways we had the big T dinner at Sandras house- I was able to catch up with Trevor and Tess and ate really quick, then we headed to Grandma's house to drop of some dinner and then we headed to Ross's D's cousin's house. It was a good night.

There is something magical about being surrounded by people you love. To hear them visit and laugh while eating a yummy meal, its super therapeutic. I love my family. My sisters are amazing. They give me a hard time but I constantly feel their love and support. My parents have struggled to see where I am coming from and where I am going but they continue to wave their pom poms as I make my way around the track. My brother even means well although our conversations are few, I know there is some love for me in that little heart of his:)j/k Holidays are difficult without my Grandma Marsh. I miss both of my Grandpas as well. But Grandma Marsh is the hard one cuz thinking of her still brings tears to me eyes. Its too fresh still I guess. She was my number one fan of all. She always shared my joys and my pains and offered priceless advice. We would visit at night before I helped her get ready for bed. We would kneel down in prayer together and share secrets and had some great laughs. I'll never forget my breakdowns that she so lovingly held me and tried to make it all better. I guess I find since I don't have her I don't have "that"anymore and thats hard. Holidays always stirs up mixed emotions. But I love them. I love the warmth of the season and the sparkling lights that line the streets and rooftops. I love the music and the exchanging of gifts and kind words. I love the coziness of sweaters and cracklin fires. I love falling snow and seeing my breath. I love it all!!! Happy Holidays!!

old with the new

2009-10-04T18:11:00.000-07:00

A few quick memories of my days livin on huki lau

I woke up to the sunrise every morning just like this shot---->

It was gorgeous. First off I had never even been to Hawaii in my life. I had always loved the beach and was super sick of no sunshine and dark long winters having lived in rexburg the past couple years so to get into BYU hawaii made my life!!! I was so excited. I didn't know anyone and wasnt going with anyone I knew so it was going to be quite the experience:) I remember my first day moving in. I took a shuttle to my house. I got dropped off and walked into this beat down beach house. I took one of the tow beds in the kitchen and I just remember sweating and my hair going curly from the humidity. Then some of the other roomies rolled in. Robin took the bed by me and then we had Ms. Japan who spoke little to no english and we hardly ever saw her. Then Robin the RM who again was hardly ever around. Then my fellow cali girl moved in- Ms. Ashley- we hit it off right off the bat and are forever BFFs. Then Cat and Erin came and a girl from singapore. Our house was packed. There were two families who lived in the front of us. But we had the beach side and that was all that mattered. Life was good. I got a job on campus and worked a ton while taking a light load. Ash and I found Jake and Tyson to run around with. They were tons of fun. We went all over the island with those kids. It often hurts thinking back to the good times we had cuz my days as of recent are sooooo lame. Anyways-memories. I remember not having a car and skating and hitch hiking everywhere. I remember not being able to afford much food and living off of tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwhiches. I remember working with Tasha and becoming friends with her and findin out recently she is on the womens olympic soccer team. I remember nights skinny dipping and coming home sweating only to strip down and get into my suit and take a dip in the delicious water. I remember trips to matsumotos and haleiwa. I remember taking a hula class and waking up to the INS one morning as they searched for my singapore roomie to deport her:( I could go on and on and on but those are what come to mind the most. So my fam and I went back a bit ago -

Below is a pic of me and my sisties

snorkeling.

We had a blast. We all hit up Matt Hardens wedding

at the gorgeous Turtle Bay Resort. It was an amazing time. Those Hardens know how to throw a party that is for sure. They wined and dined us silly. I'm suprised we continued to get into our swimsuits day in and day out cuz we ate soooo much. We hit up Pearl Harbor which tickled my dad, cuz he is always watchin the history channel and they are always doing WWII specials so it was neat to see it live. The pic below is of me and cat skydiving. We hit up drop zone north west of us to do it. It was super fun. Good times. I miss it tons. I remember deciding to serve a mission and having to come home to prep. I would wake up in tears cuz I missed the ocean and my chill hawaiian lifestyle. It was such a beautiful time in my life.

DROP ZONE!!!

2009-10-04T18:08:00.000-07:00

So the Andes kick the Rockies ass hands down. Flying back to Santiago I was in awe of these majestic peaks. This pic doesn't do them justice but oh geez they were amazing!!! Gorgeous.

2009-10-04T17:45:00.000-07:00

Javi checkin out the falls.....

Soooo this pic of this lady cracks me up every

time I see it. Javi and I were on the bus to Brazil and this lady dropped a ton of change. Javi being the gentleman that he is bends over to help her pick it up- she flipped out!!! she thought he was trying to take her money and so she was smackin him and telling him to stop - it was crrrrazy- but funny. anyways we caught her sleeping and her dentures were flappin so I had to take a pic:)

So Brazil was the next stop which is getting another temple as of this weekend and will be the home to the 2016 olympics- very cool. This trip was super fun. Javier and myself hopped a bus and stayed in a ghetto hotel in cuidad del este. On our way to the falls we saw a white family get jumped by a huge group of lil pateros- It was super scary I was sooo glad I had javi with me. We saw the falls which were gorgeous!! we got soaked and had a super fun time. We saw cool lil monkey things all over the place. We didnt take the boat into devils throat due to not being able to afford it, but it looked pretty intense. We hit up the Itaipu damn light show. It was pouring rain and we got a shady taxi driver who supposedly misunderstood where we were going, so he took us to the wrong place and javi got into a scuffle with him which was kinda funny/ oh geez this better work out cuz we don't have money to pay another taxi dude to where we need to go. It worked out thank goodness and we ended the night trekkin back to our hotel in the rain. We were starving so grabbed some ghetto asado in front of our ghetto hotel and went up to our room and ate on our bed in our soakin wet clothes and enjoyed some good laughs while we listened to the thunder and loud music bumpin outside. We cleaned up and got dry and cuddled til we fell asleep just to awake to what we swear were gun shots:) but it was perfect timing cuz we had a bus to catch.

Back to the mish

2009-10-04T17:38:00.000-07:00

So I hopped a plane with my amigo Javier and we headed back to la gran mision paraguay. It was a priceless experience. It was uber bizarre being there and not being a missionary, but it made it sooo nice to be able to sit with people with no curphew or pressure to keep it moving on to the next cita. I was only able to find a few of my favorites but it was so good to see them. It was definitely a taste of heaven. It took me back to the good ol days of waking up and thinking about nadie mas but my paraguayan amigos and how we could help them come into the fold and lead happier and healthier lives. I miss it!!! I miss them!!!

2009-10-04T17:32:00.000-07:00

I hit up the beach in lima and wanted to check out some of the waves and surfers. The next thing I know this guy was tokin up next me. He is offerin me a puff in this pic:) I declined of course but got a kick out of how chill it was there. I was impressed with the skills of these peruvian guys. The beach was rocky but a cool location and the guys were super welcoming and sweet.

2009-10-04T17:29:00.000-07:00

brady and myself having fun tryin on these gorgeous alpaca hats and much more:)

2009-10-04T17:27:00.000-07:00

So we hit up the market in cusco and I saw this little girl crawling around in the street. I fell in love!!! she totally drew me in and I just wanted to pick her up and squeeze her but her mother swooped her away once she saw me taking interest in her.

2009-10-04T17:25:00.000-07:00

me with some adorable lil bambinos and an alpaca:)

2009-10-04T17:17:00.000-07:00

Peru- one word "wow" we drank some cocaine tea, hit up tons of ruins and climbed putukusi, wayna picchu and the famous macchu picchu- it was breathtaking. We stayed in cusco, and aguas calientes and saw and did a ton in the few days we played there. Loved it and fell in love with the cute lil alpacas. The people were gorgeous and spoke amazingly clear and perfect spanish. It was a priceless lil trip.

2009-10-04T17:13:00.000-07:00

Soooo this pic is horrible - our chilean server had never really seen a digital camera before:) but it was one of the best nights ever. I was the only girl in my Spanish class so me and the other guys got to be buds really quick. My favorites of the bunch took me out for my birthday and we had a great time doing our thing in Vina del Mar. Good times were had for sure :)

the streets of valpo

2009-10-04T17:04:00.000-07:00

So Chile. I fell in love with this place. It is a hidden gem for sure. I dream of going back to work for a bit or do something while I live downtown and play. I lived in Recreo right by Vina del Mar and down from centro. It was a great location. I got to ride the bus along the coast on the way to class. My view from my room was killer as you can see. I loved it!!!

Cadaver Queen

2009-07-22T09:02:00.001-07:00

My life is super boring these days. I spend my day in the lab, in class, or in my car commuting. I have decided to start posting one pic affiliated with a fond memory with an objective to re-cap on good times and to play catch up. I have had some stellar days just not as of recent. I must say I am learning a ton, almost too much. I feel like I should be getting foreign language credit with this class cuz I have had to memorize thousands and thousands of crrrazy named bones, muscles, arteries, veins, origins and insertions, functions and definitions. Anatomy is fascinating. I worked on a cadaver today that had breast implants. She had breast cancer so it was legit, but I learned that women with breast implants have a weak immune system and are prone to illness for as long as they live with their plastic boobies. Why is that? Well....their bodies see their implants as foreign and so it spends their whole life trying to fight them and attack them, thus not putting forth its energy doing something more productive, like, fighting illness or something dangerous. I learn cool stuff like this every day, I can spit cool facts for hours really.

2009-07-21T17:54:00.000-07:00

What is it about the beach that makes people happy? I don't know but when I lived in Hawaii I never ran into someone I didn't like. I find a day spent on the beach to be a day well worth living. I lived on huki- lau beach in the infamous ninja house. Every morning I would sit on the sand and eat raisin bran. I would then hop on my wal- mart skateboard and head to my hula class and as I rode down kam hwy, I would sing and count my blessings. I don't sing or count my blessings as much as I did when I lived on the beach- why is that?

Where do I start??

2009-07-21T17:52:00.001-07:00

I guess there is no better time than the present. I am working on sooo many things right now to better myself, I thought this bloggin scene might help me visually see just what it is I am doing with my life and if it makes sense.